Englischaufsatz < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 17:15 Di 16.01.2007 | | Autor: | LaBella |
Ich habe diese Frage in keinem Forum auf anderen Internetseiten gestellt
Kann mir irgendjemand diesen englischtext korigieren?
hab morgen Schularbeit und bin krank und hab das gefühl total viele fehler drinnen zu haben...bitte helft mir!!
Nowadays violence occurs very often in our society and the world is getting more violent every year.
In the media we are every day confronted with terrorism or war and the increasing number of burglaries, mugging, violent robberies or rapes scares lots of people.
Even kids tend to be aggressive. And it happens more and more that they use force if they don´t get what they want.
Children can be very affected by their surroundings.
That can be the family, the media, the circle of friends or something else.
If a child is always beaten from his parents it doesnt learn how to solve problems non-violently and maybe it get used to it and regard it as normal to beat somebody.
But it can also be violently films which motivate children to use force.
Today lots of parents are worried about their childrens anti-social behaviour. And in some countries the Government created a network of parenting experts. Such organisations should help to bring up better behaved children who are no plague for the future.
Another form of violence is called domestic violence. Domestic violence occurs if a family member or partner exert power on the other or harm him.
Most of the time women and children are concerned of it and domestic violence is often under-reported. Experts say that between child abuse and domestic violence is a strong connection.
Reasons for applying force can be very different often it´s personal frustration, hate or the influence of alcohol.
But people suffer not only from physical violence.
Ii exists also the emotional form of it.
It´s hard to give an exact definition of emotional violence because it can have lots of different forms.
The greatest problem with emotional violence is that it leaves no visible traces and often it´s not taken very seriously.
The victims are especially women, children and elderly people.
Mobbing and stalking are also forms of emotional violence just like isolation, neglect or being an outsider.
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(Antwort) fertig  | | Datum: | 18:59 Di 16.01.2007 | | Autor: | Riley |
Hi LaBella,
meine vorschläge in farbe:
Nowadays, violence occurs very often in our society and the world people are getting more and more violent every year.
In the media, we are every day confronted with terrorism or war every day and the increasing number of burglaries, mugging, violent robberies or rapes scares lots of people.
Even kids tend to be aggressive. And It happens more and more that (or just say: More often) they use force if they don´t get what they want.
Children can be very affected by their surroundings.
That can be For example by their family, the media,( the circle of ) their friends or something else.
If a child is always beaten from ( i'd rather say: slapped by) his parents it (use better: he or she ) doesn’t learn how to solve problems non-violently and maybe it(he/she) gets used to it. and Thus, the child will regard it as normal to beat somebody.
In addition, violent films can also motviate children to ...
But it can also be violently films which motivate children to use force.
Today, lots of parents are worried about their children's anti-social behaviour. And In some countries, the Government created a network of parenting experts. Such organisations should help to bring up better behaved(?) children who are no plague for the future.
Another form of violence is called domestic violence. Domestic violence occurs if a family member or partner exerts power on the other one or harm hurts him.
Most of the time Mainly, women and children are concerned of about it. and Domestic violence is often under-reported (sorry, i'mnot sure if this word exists...?). Experts say that there is a strong connection between child abuse and domestic violence is a strong connection.
Reasons for applying force can be very different. Often it is because of personal frustration, hate or the influence of alcohol.
However, people do not only suffer not only from physical violence.
Ii exists There is also the an emotional form of it.
It´s hard to give an exact definition of emotional violence because it can appear in have lots of different forms.
The greatest problem with of emotional violence is that (it leaves) there are no / you cannot find any visible traces and often it´s not taken (very) seriously.
The victims are especially women, children and elderly people.
Mobbing and stalking are also forms of emotional violence just like isolation, neglect negligence or being an outsider.
well done 
hope i could help
riley
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig  | | Datum: | 20:04 Di 16.01.2007 | | Autor: | LaBella |
vielen vielen vielen dank =))))
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