Englischtext < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 14:11 Sa 15.09.2007 | | Autor: | cancy |
hi ihr lieben !
Könntet ihr den folgenden text nur kurz überfliegen, auf eventuelle fehler:
Adonia Thomas, Leiba Thomas daughter, is 7 years old and a really sprightly young lady.
Like her mum she has a dark brown skin colour and the typical afro hair.
Adonia is a very active and friendly girl, with no fear of get to know new people.
She goes to St. Patrick's School, which is a catholic primary school not far from Sinchale Road where Adonia is living.
She likes to go to school, for this reason she told us a lot about her school and her class.
Adonia is in the second class and one of her favourite subjects is PE.
Her school day starts at 8.45 am and finishes mostly at 3.30 pm. In between they have a long lunch break, and different workshops.
They have to wear a school uniform, but the one in the winter differs from he one in the summer months.
Adonia showed us her summer uniform, which doesn't look like one. All girls wear dresses with black shoes.
In the winter they wear a blue skirt, a white blouse, a school tie, a blazer and black shoes.
Leiba told us that this school uniforms are very expensive, and of course children often rip something.
But in case they loose a blazer or cardigan in school they can go to the "Lost & Found", and may have it back.
In Adonias class are many different nations, it's a mixed class. Her classmates are from Vietnam, Russia, Kenya and Nigeria.
Therefore a school uniform is quite good, to give them a sense of community.
Because of all the different nations, Adonias school is very international and she doesn't have any problems with her skin colour.
Lieben Dank im Voraus
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig  | | Datum: | 14:25 Sa 15.09.2007 | | Autor: | DarkJiN |
ich glaube:
is a very active and friendly girl, with no fear of get to know new people
das heißt ...., with no fear of getting to know new people
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(Antwort) fertig  | | Datum: | 14:28 Sa 15.09.2007 | | Autor: | DarkJiN |
They have to wear a school uniform, but the one in the winter differs from he one in the summer months.
och glaube ein tippfehler:
They have to wear school uniforms, but the one in the winter differs from THE one in the summer months
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig | | Datum: | 14:34 Sa 15.09.2007 | | Autor: | cancy |
danke, ja bei 2. war es ein tippfehler ^^
ansonsten okay soweit ?
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig | | Datum: | 14:38 Sa 15.09.2007 | | Autor: | DarkJiN |
meines Erachtens ja..
bin mir aber nicht sicher, würde gerne auf die Antwort eines anderen warten
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(Frage) beantwortet | | Datum: | 15:32 Sa 15.09.2007 | | Autor: | cancy |
Ich hätte noch einen Text, der sich um das selbe thema dreht, stell ihn mal online, vl mag ja noch jemand drüber schauen:
Leiba Thomas was born on the 17th October 1966 in the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago.
More precisely her mum and dad lived on the island of Trinidad.
Leiba was the oldest of 6 brothers and sisters, and had therefore no easy childhood.
Her parents weren't rich, but she was happy in Trinidad, also because she could go to school.
She was in Primary school for five years, and then respectively two years in Junior and Senior High.
After Leiba graduated she worked as a hairdresser in Trinidad, and in various other jobs to earn money.
But then in 1992 she decided to change her life and go to Great Britain for studying.
Her English was good, because it is the official language in Trinidad and Tobago.
Leibas dream was to become a dentist, but her marks were insufficient. So she studied nursing at the King's College in London.
This College has a high reputation, not only in the United Kingdom. After 3 years of studying Leiba got her degree.
Since then she worked in various hospitals and nursing homes.
Leiba told us that the most don't have any problemes with her skin colour, because London is such multiracial city.
Only some elderly persons, are a bit shocked at the first moment.
Every year since she is in London, Leiba flyed back home to her family. First alone, but since 2000, the year her daughter was born, Adonia always flyed with her.
Adonia told us that she likes Trinidad and Tobago and that she loves her 'granny'.
But then about 2 years ago, Leibas dad became sick, and died after a long disease in February 2007.
She was some weeks in Trinidad to support her family.
Leiba bought her own house in spring this year. There she lives with her daughter of course, and with her partner.
He works as a doctor in another part of London, therefore he mostly comes home at the weekends, but not during the week.
His job is hard, but the payment isn't bad.
One can say that Leiba is mostly a single mother with her everyday problems. She has found her routine.
mhhh irgend nen abschlusssatz fehlt noch, aber anyway....
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Hey cancy ![[winken]](/images/smileys/winken.gif "[winken]") ,
Wegen Zeitmangel schreibe ich dir die Verbesserungen einfach in deinen Text:
> Leiba Thomas was born on the 17th (of) October 1966 in the
> Republic of Trinidad and Tobago.
> More precisely (Particularly) her mum and dad lived on the island of
> Trinidad.
> Leiba was the oldest of 6 brothers and sisters, and had
> therefore no easy childhood.
> Her parents weren't (keine Kurzform!) rich (wealthy), but she was happy in Trinidad,
> also because she could go to school.
> She was in Primary school for five years, and then
> respectively two years in Junior and Senior High.
> After Leiba graduated she worked as a hairdresser in
> Trinidad, and in various other jobs to earn money.
> But then in 1992 she decided to change her life and go to
> Great Britain for studying.
> Her English was good, because it is the official language
> in Trinidad and Tobago .
> Leibas dream was to become a dentist, but her marks were
> insufficient. So she studied nursing at the King's College
> in London.
> This College has a high reputation, not only in the United
> Kingdom. After 3 years of studying Leiba got her degree.
>
> Since then she worked in various hospitals and nursing
> homes.
> Leiba told us that the most don't (s.o.) have any problemes with
> her skin colour, because London is such multiracial city.
> Only some elderly persons, are a bit shocked at the first
> moment.
> Every year since she is in London, Leiba flyed (flew)back home to
> her family. First alone, but since 2000, the year her
> daughter was born, Adonia always flyed with her (der Satz ist ein bisschen unglücklich..., probiers mal mit "when" etc).
> Adonia told us that she likes Trinidad and Tobago and that
> she loves her 'granny'.
> But then about 2 years ago, Leibas dad became sick, and
> died after a long disease in February 2007.
> She was some weeks in Trinidad to support her family.
>
> Leiba bought her own house in spring this year. There she
> lives with her daughter of course (of course ist überflüssig) , and with her partner.
> He works as a doctor in another part of London, therefore
> he mostly comes home at the weekends, but not during the
> week.
> His job is hard, but the payment isn't (s.o.) bad.
> One can say (All in all you can say) that Leiba is mostly a single mother with her
> everyday problems. She has found her routine.
Liebe Grüße,
Sarah 
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig | | Datum: | 17:30 Sa 15.09.2007 | | Autor: | cancy |
Danke Sarah !! =)
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Hey cancy ,
> Adonia Thomas, Leiba Thomas daughter, is 7 years old and a
> really sprightly young lady.
> Like her mum she has a dark brown skin colour and the
> typical afro hair like her mum.
> Adonia is a very active and friendly girl, with no fear of
> getting to know new people.
> She goes to St. Patrick's School, which is a catholic
> primary school not far from Sinchale Road where Adonia is
> living (oder lives).
> She likes to go to school, for this reason she told us a
> lot about her school and her class.
> Adonia is in the second class and one of her favourite
> subjects is PE.
> Her school day starts at 8.45 am and finishes mostly at
> 3.30 pm. In between they have a long lunch break, and
> different workshops.
> They have to wear a school uniform, but the one in the
> winter differs from he one in the summer months.
> Adonia showed (besser: has shown) us her summer uniform, which doesn't (does not, da keine Kurzform verwendet werden sollte!) look
> like one. All girls wear dresses with black shoes.
> In the winter they wear a blue skirt, a white blouse, a
> school tie, a blazer and black shoes.
> Leiba told (besser: has told) us that this school uniforms are very
> expensive, and of course children often rip something.
> But in case they loose a blazer or cardigan in school they
> can go to the "Lost & Found", and may have it back.
> In Adonias class are many different nations, it's (s.o.) a mixed
> class. Her classmates are from Vietnam, Russia, Kenya and
> Nigeria.
> Therefore a school uniform is quite good, to give them a
> sense of community.
> Because of all the different nations, Adonias school is
> very international and she doesn't (s.o) have any problems with
> her skin colour.
Liebe Grüße,
Sarah
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(Frage) beantwortet | | Datum: | 16:40 So 16.09.2007 | | Autor: | cancy |
*doppeldanke*
Okay jetzt hier mein letzter geschriebener text, in dem darf ruhig informal vorkommen.....
erstmal der erste teil :
Our expectations concerning our hostfamily were equal to zero. What could you expect, if you live with this family for 4 days ?
We only imagined a typical british townhouse. Good, we hadn't any expectations, because they would have been disappointed.
Our first impression from our hostmum Leiba was great. She was really friendly and knew directly our names.
But then the first problem, the hostmum from Anne and Marian didn't showed up, that's why Leiba said 'Okay, I'll take the girls with me'.
Well, Leiba had no choice, because she were the last hostmum on the car park, and someone had to take them.
So we walked to the car, a little van, and couldn't believe our eyes.
In this van were already sitting 5 (!) people. We said 'Hello", friendly as always and they introduced themselves.
Four of them were exchange students from Poland and the little girl was Leibas daughter.
In the next 10 minutes, while we drove to Leibas house, we were concerned about what Leibas house looks like, that is has space for so much people.
Those English streets, and the left-hand traffic driving us even more crazy.
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Hey cancy ,
> Our expectations concerning our hostfamily were equal to
> zero. What could you expect, if you (would) live with this family
> for 4 days ?
> We only imagined a typical british townhouse. Good, we
> hadn't any expectations, because they would have been
> disappointed.
> Our first impression from our hostmum Leiba was great. She
> was really friendly and knew directly our names.
> But then the first problem, the hostmum from Anne and
> Marian didn't showed up, that's was the reason why Leiba said 'Okay, I'll
> take the girls with me'.
> Well, Leiba had no choice, because she were the last
> hostmum on the car park, and someone had to take them.
> So we walked to the car, a little van, and couldn't
> believe our eyes.
> In this van were already sitting 5 (!) people. We said
> 'Hello", friendly as always and they introduced themselves.
> Four of them were exchange students from Poland and the
> little girl was Leibas daughter.
> In the next 10 minutes, while we drove to Leibas house, we
> were concerned about what how Leibas house looks like, that is
> has space for so much people.
Also, eigentlich war dein text ja okay, aber du setzt die Kommas wie im Deutschen und das ist nicht okay 
Du solltest vielleicht nochmal die Kommaregeln wiederholen, in Klausuren könnte das leicht zum Punkteabzug führen!
Liebe Grüße,
Sarah
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig | | Datum: | 17:02 So 16.09.2007 | | Autor: | cancy |
ja, ist irgendwie so ne angewohnheit-->deutsch-LK ^^
danke für die verbesserungen !
Well, the house was, yes you can say small. Enough space for a little family, with one or two children.
The Polish Girls had one room, and then there were two smaller rooms, where we sleeped in. We had to do 'shift eating' .
But the baked potatoes tasted quite good.
And can you imagine: 8 girls, and ONE bathroom. Great, isn't it ?! But also here we've done it in shifts, at it worked.
Still, we coulnd't believe it, why someone would take so many exchange students. Just for the money ?
The breakfast on the next morning was...different. The cornflakes were okay, also the milk.
But this ugly juice, consisting only of sugar and colouring !? Maybe the Germans are to spoiled.
Because the Polish Girls loved this stuff, which we now named 'jelly baby juice'.
Our packed lunches were let`s say: okay. The juice was in it, of course.
Also eight sandwiches, chips, a chocolate bar, and 'surprise, surprise' a plum and an orange.
Well, the plum you couldn`t eat anymore but finally vitamins.
At this day, the Polish girls left, and we thought 'yeah, now we have more space and an own bathroom'.
'Don't halloo till you're out of the wood !'
The next day in the evening Leiba arrived at the car park too late as always to pick us up, after a long exhausting day in London.
And it was like a déjà vu, the car door opened and four new Polish girls smiled at us. Their English was even worse, therefore a chat wasn't possible.
das wäre der nächste teil, bin immer dankbar für verbesserungen ! bin mir auch manchmal bei diesen apostrophen nicht sicher z.B. Leibas house oder Leiba's house
auch ne sache die ich nie verstehen werd ^^
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(Frage) beantwortet | | Datum: | 17:47 So 16.09.2007 | | Autor: | cancy |
okay also hier der 2. teil falls jemand mag
ist viel also nur kurz überfliegen;)
Well, the house was, yes you can say small. Enough space for a little family, with one or two children.
The Polish Girls had one room, and then there were two smaller rooms, where we sleeped in. We had to do 'eating in stages' .
But the baked potatoes tasted quite good.
And can you imagine: 8 girls, and ONE bathroom. Great, isn't it ?! But also here we've done it in stages and it worked.
Still, we coulnd't believe it, why someone would take so many exchange students. Just for the money ?
The breakfast on the next morning was...different. The cornflakes were okay, also the milk.
But this ugly juice, consisting only of sugar and colouring !? Maybe the Germans are to spoiled.
Because the Polish Girls loved this stuff, which we now named 'jelly baby juice'.
Our packed lunches were let`s say: okay. The juice was in it, of course.
Also eight sandwiches, chips, a chocolate bar, and 'surprise, surprise' a plum and an orange.
Well, the plum you couldn`t eat anymore, but finally vitamins.
At this day, the Polish girls left, and we thought 'yeah, now we have more space and an own bathroom'.
'Don't halloo till you're out of the wood !'
The next day in the evening Leiba arrived at the car park, too late as always, to pick us up, after a long exhausting day in London.
And it was like a déjà vu, the car door opened and four new Polish girls smiled at us. Their English was even worse, therefore a chat wasn't possible.
Leiba cooked a bowl of noodles with some sauce and told us that she has to leave, because she has to pick up Adonia at a friends house.
The noodles weren't enough for eight people, but who cares.
We had to wait until Leiba was back, because we had planned to ask her about some things in London and Great Britain....
Hours later ...it was around 9.30pm, Leiba returned with Adonia. And she was again very friendly and we had a long conversation.
She told us nearly everything about her life, and slowly she became more personable.
Leiba told us that her friend has also exchange students, and that' s where she got the idea from.
Leiba said, that she normally has 3 or 4 students. But now the stays overlaped. She had some bad experiences with students from other countries, especially with those from France. They were, as she said, very noisy and fossy.
And then there were some pupils from Germany, who smoked in the room, which Leiba doesn't allow.
But otherwise the exchange students were always friendly.
We asked Leiba if she earns good money with such an exchange. Because we thought 'well, for some reason she has to do that'.
Initially she wouldn't wanted to to tell us, because the organisation doesn't allow it. But then we told her, how expensive this trip to London is.
Leiba said that she gets 12 Pounds per student per night. If you consider how much work you have and how much expenses it's not much.
But she told us that she is doing it, because she doesn't have the money to modernise the house, and at least thereby she earns a little bit extra money.
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(Antwort) fertig | | Datum: | 18:22 So 16.09.2007 | | Autor: | leduart |
Hallo
Sehr gut geschrieben. der einzige Fehler beim Überfliegen:
she wouldn't wanted sollte wohl she didn't want to
or she wouldn't dare to
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Hey cancy ,
> Well, the house was, yes you can say small. Enough space
> for a little family, with one or two children.
> The Polish Girls had one room, and then there were two
> smaller rooms, where we sleepedt in. We had to do 'eating in
> stages' .
> But the baked potatoes tasted quite good.
> And can you imagine: 8 girls, and ONE bathroom. Great,
> isn't it ?! But also here we've done it in stages and it
> worked.
> Still, we coulnd't believe it, why someone would take so
> many exchange students. Just for the money ?
> The breakfast on the next morning was...different. The
> cornflakes were okay, also the milk.
> But this ugly juice, consisting only of sugar and colouring
> !? Maybe the Germans are to spoiled.
> Because the Polish Girls loved this stuff, which we now
> named 'jelly baby juice'.
> Our packed lunches were let's say: okay. The juice was in
> it, of course.
> Also eight sandwiches, chips, a chocolate bar, and
> 'surprise, surprise' a plum and an orange.
> Well, the plum you couldn't eat anymore, but finally
> vitamins.
> At this day, the Polish girls left, and we thought 'yeah,
> now we have more space and an own bathroom'.
> 'Don't halloo till you're out of the wood !'
> The next day in the evening Leiba arrived at the car park,
> too late as always, to pick us up, after a long exhausting
> day in London.
> And it was like a déjà vu, the car door opened and four new
> Polish girls smiled at us. Their English was even worse,
> therefore a chat talk (chat ist eher für den schriftsprachlichen Sinn) wasn't possible.
> Leiba cooked a bowl of noodles with some sauce and told us
> that she has to leave, because she has to pick up Adonia at
> a friends house.
> The noodles weren't enough for eight people, but who
> cares.
> We had to wait until Leiba was back, because we had
> planned to ask her about some things (zusammen schreiben) in London and Great
> Britain....
> Hours later ...it was around 9.30pm, Leiba returned with
> Adonia. And she was again very friendly again and we had a long
> conversation.
> She told us nearly everything about her life, and slowly
> she became more personable.
> Leiba told us that her friend has also exchange students,
> and that' s where she got the idea from.
> Leiba said, that she normally has 3 or 4 students. But now
> the stays overlaped. She had some bad experiences with
> students from other countries, especially with those from
> France. They were, as she said, very noisy and fossy.
> And then there were some pupils from Germany, who smoked in
> the room, which Leiba doesn't allow.
> But otherwise the exchange students were always friendly.
> We asked Leiba if she earns good money with such an
> exchange. Because we thought 'well, for some reason she has
> to do that'.
> Initially she wouldn't wanted to to tell us, because the
> organisation doesn't allow it. But then we told her, how
> expensive this trip to London is.
> Leiba said that she gets 12 Pounds per student per night.
> If you consider how much work you have and how much
> expenses it's not much.
> But she told us that she is doing it, because she doesn't
> have the money to modernise the house, and at least thereby
> she earns a little bit extra money.
Na, hier setzt sich das Kommaperoblem aber wieder durch
Wenn du Zeit hast, dann kannst du dir ja mal ![[]](/images/popup.gif) diese Seite (Kommasetzung im Englischen) ansehen.
Liebe Grüße,
Sarah
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig | | Datum: | 18:41 So 16.09.2007 | | Autor: | cancy |
danke schön fürs korrigieren !!!! Die seite ist ja klasse, ha ich mir gleich mal als Lesezeichen markiert.
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