Korrektur bitte =) < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 23:21 Sa 17.11.2007 | | Autor: | airam111 |
Wir haben die Hausaufgabe bekommen zu dem Thema "The Fingersmith at Epsom" einen Aufsatz zu schreiben. Jeder Korrekturvorschlag ist mir herzlichst willkommen..
Michael Fish walked the streets. It was a sunny day. He wanted to go to Epsom. A few of cars passed him, but nobody wanted to give this ratty faced hitch-hiker a lift, except for one. A book writer, who drove a very expensive car, stopped for him. The driver took him to Epsom, where a horserace took place. At the parking places in front of the horserace Michael saw lots of expensive cars and began to smile. This day would be a very good for him. He bought himself a ticket for the horserace witch he paid with his recent money. When Michael entered the horserace it had been already started. Lots of people had betted on several horses. He hurled himself into the crowd. He took peoples moneybags, purses, rings and also sometimes expensive belts. But nobody noticed. Suddenly Michael saw the goblet (or cup?) witch was reserved for he winner of the horserace. The goblet (cup) was made of gold and jewelled. It was glossing in the sun. At the first moment when Michael had a look at it he wanted to have it. But the problem was that lots of security men were standing around it. Michael was a very good pickpocket, maybe the best fingersmith around, but to get this goblet (cup) would be hard for him. He went to the toilets and sat himself down on the floor in a corner of a cabin. He started to make a plan to steal it. After that he went to the cellar of the building of the horserace. There he turned off the electricity. The people began to scream and run around hysterically. That was Michaels chance. He ran to the goblet (cup), put it into his bag and ran out of the horserace area. At the following day he could read the headlines of lots of newspapers: Expensive goblet (cup) stolen from a horserace in Epsom and Michael was very proud of himself.
Ich habe diese Frage in keinem Forum auf anderen Internetseiten gestellt.
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Hallo Airam,
![[willkommenvh]](/images/smileys/willkommenvh.png "[willkommenvh]")
Zu deinem Text:
Michael Fish walked through the streets (walk the streets=aufn Strich gehen  ). It was a sunny day. He wanted to go to Epsom. A few cars passed him, but nobody wanted to give this (besser: such a) ratty faced hitch-hiker a lift, except for one. A book writer, who drove a very expensive car, stopped for him. The driver took him to Epsom, where a horserace took place. At the parking places in front of the horserace Michael saw lots of expensive cars and began to smile. This day would be a very good (one) for him. He bought himself a ticket for the horserace which he paid with his last money. When Michael entered the horserace it had already started. Lots of people had betted on several horses. He hurled himself into the crowd. He took peoples moneybags, purses, rings and also sometimes expensive belts. But nobody noticed him/it. Suddenly Michael saw the cup ! (goblet=kelch) which was reserved for the winner of the horserace. The cup was made of gold and jewelled (gibts m.E. nicht; besser spangled with jewels). It was glossing (twinkling=glitzern;glaring/shining=glänzen) in the sun. At the (very=aller erster moment) first moment when Michael had a look at it he wanted to have/possess it. But the problem was that lots of security men were standing around it. Michael was a very good pickpocket, maybe the best fingersmith around, but getting this cup would be hard for him. He went to the toilets and sat himself down on the floor in the corner of a cabin. He started to make a plan on how to steal it. After that he went to the cellar of the building of the horserace. There he turned off the electricity. The people began to scream and ran around hysterically. That was Michaels chance. He ran to the cup, put it into his bag and ran out of the horserace area (einfach ran away). On the following day he could read this headline in lots of newspapers: Expensive cup stolen from a horserace in Epsom and Michael was very proud of himself.
Schöner Text  !
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig  | | Datum: | 11:43 So 18.11.2007 | | Autor: | airam111 |
danke!!
das ist echt super-nett!
DAAAAAAANKKKKKKKEEEE!
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