a speech < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) reagiert/warte auf Reaktion  | | Datum: | 11:02 So 20.03.2011 | | Autor: | Muellermilch |
Morgen :)
Ich musste eine Rede schreiben;
und bin auch so gut wie fertig damit.
Nur bin ich mir noch unsicher wegen der Grammatik,
Satzstellungen und die Formulierungen.
Könnte jemand von euch die Rede bitte durchlesen,
Fehler korrigieren und evtl. ergänzen ?
Verbesserungen sind auch erwünscht :)
[Dateianhang nicht öffentlich]
[Dateianhang nicht öffentlich]
Vielen Dank im Voraus!
Gruß,
Muellermilch
Dateianhänge:
Anhang Nr. 1 (Typ: tiff) [nicht öffentlich]
Anhang Nr. 2 (Typ: tiff) [nicht öffentlich]
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig  | | Datum: | 11:35 So 20.03.2011 | | Autor: | Loddar |
Hallo Müllermilch!
Davon abgesehen, dass ich Deine beiden Anhänge gar nicht öffnen und lesen kann, finde ich ich schon eine Zumutung, wenn man hier ganze Textpassagen korrigieren soll und dann noch als Helfender eintippen darf.
Diese Arbeit sehe ich eindeutig auf der Seite des Fragenden. Soll heießn: bitte tippe Deine Texte hier direkt ein, dann wird Dir auch mit Sicherheit geholfen.
Gruß
Loddar
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Speech
Topic: an immigration model that works
For some years now, Germany has been the escape for refugees. In the past, Germany has got a large number of foreigners.
In this time we had discontented immigrants ans migrants who have the potenial to impact, not only within one's country, but in other parts of the world as well. But now there also are problems of immigration.
And the question is, how to make it possible for people of different backgrounds and beliefs, coming from disparate nations around the world, to live with each other or together in a multicultural society with a sense of belonging.
Özlem Gezer and Anna Reimann said: "Many immigrants, in turn complain that they are still being called foreigners even if they were born in Germany, have German citizenship and speak the language perfectly",
but I have to add that there also are immigrants who don't speak the language perfectly and don't strain themselves to learn German.
In addition those immigrants maybe don't want to integrate! [...]
Admittedly we also have immigrants, who try hard to learn the language and give their best to integrate, but it isn't easy at all!
However, to my mind this is not only the fault of the immigrants, but also Germany's fault.
Sometimes there are a lot of prejudices and discrimination against immigrants. Therefore immigrants feel under par and segregate themselves from German people.
Erdogan said that children of Turkish immigrants should learn Turkish before German. Is it a good idea?
I think that they have to learn both languages, too.
But coevally: It's ok that parents speak the mother tongue with their children at home, but in the age (for example) of 2 years the parents should send their children to an international kindergarten.
Later on to a international school. It is important to know the host culture and to learn the host-language to improve the chances in life in this country, but it is also important to keep your own culture in mind.
All in all I want to say that everyone of us, wether immigrant or non-immigrant, have to account something for the living side by side in a multicultural society. We have to fight against discrimination and prejudices. We all have to accept, that there are people with different cultures. It's a positive acceptance not a negative tolerance, like Ruth Lea said. We have to respect each other and aid one another to coexist
happily. Treat others the way you want them to treat you (Behandle andere so, wie du von ihnen behandelt werden willst.)
Just keep this in mind.
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Dieser Beitrag ist in 2 stunden fällig! :S
Hoffe es schaut sich dies noch einer an und
korrigiert falls Fehler vorhanden sind!
Verbesserungen oder Ergänzungen sind natürlich auch erwünscht :)
Vielen Dank im Voraus!
Schönen Abend,
Muellermilch
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(Antwort) fertig  | | Datum: | 14:54 Mo 21.03.2011 | | Autor: | moody |
> Speech
>
> Topic: an immigration model that works
>
> For some years now, Germany has been the escape for
> refugees.
escape -> asylum
In the past, Germany has got a large number of
> foreigners.
Nennen wir sie mal immigrants
> In this time we had discontented immigrants ans migrants
> who have the potenial to impact, not only within one's
> country, but in other parts of the world as well. But now
> there also are problems of immigration.
Kann man so schreiben, aber ich verstehe den Punkt nicht wirklich. Was hat die Unzufriedenheit damit zu tun dass diese Leute etwas bewegen können? Darauf müsstest du näher eingehen wenn du z.b. darauf hinnaus willst dass die Immigranten bei der Jobsuche benachteiligt werden und deswegen ihr Potential nicht entfalten können.
> And the question is, how to make it possible for people of
> different backgrounds and beliefs, coming from disparate
> nations around the world, to live with each other or
> together in a multicultural society with a sense of
> belonging.
Hier gehört ein Fragezeichen hin und meinst du wirklich dass die Nation verzweifelt ist oder eher dass die Leute verzweifelt sind weil sie flüchten?
> Özlem Gezer and Anna Reimann said: "Many immigrants, in
> turn complain that they are still being called foreigners
> even if they were born in Germany, have German citizenship
> and speak the language perfectly",
> but I have to add that there also are immigrants who don't
> speak the language perfectly and don't strain themselves to
> learn German.
learn the german language
> In addition those immigrants maybe don't want to
> integrate! [...]
Ich würde hier vielleicht noch anführen welchen Anteil diese Immigranten an der Gesamtheit haben.
> Admittedly we also have immigrants, who try hard to learn
> the language and give their best to integrate, but it isn't
> easy at all!
> However, to my mind this is not only the fault of the
> immigrants, but also Germany's fault.
> Sometimes there are a lot of prejudices and discrimination
> against immigrants. Therefore immigrants feel under par and
> segregate themselves from German people.
> Erdogan said that children of Turkish immigrants should
> learn Turkish before German. Is it a good idea?
> I think that they have to learn both languages, too.
> But coevally: It's ok that parents speak the mother tongue
okay statt ok und du meinst language statt tongue
> with their children at home, but in the age (for example)
> of 2 years the parents should send their children to an
> international kindergarten.
mmh international kindergarten. Ich glaub es heißt kindergarden und was soll ein internation kg sein? Meinst du bilungual?
> Later on to a international school. It is important to
to an, vokal folgt
> know the host culture and to learn the host-language to
> improve the chances in life in this country, but it is also
chances of succeeding in life
> important to keep your own culture in mind.
> All in all I want to say that everyone of us, wether
whether*
> immigrant or non-immigrant, have to account something for
> the living side by side in a multicultural society. We have
> to fight against discrimination and prejudices. We all have
> to accept, that there are people with different cultures.
> It's a positive acceptance not a negative tolerance, like
> Ruth Lea said. We have to respect each other and aid one
> another to coexist
> happily. Treat others the way you want them to treat you
> (Behandle andere so, wie du von ihnen behandelt werden
> willst.)
![[ok]](/images/smileys/ok.gif "[ok]")
> Just keep this in mind.
Ich denke den nachsatz just keep this in mind kannste dir sparen
Soweit gefällt mir der Text und ich weiss nicht wie gründlich ihr vorgehen solltet, aber ich finde du solltest vielleicht noch einige Aspekte anführen welche das Zusammenleben der verschiedenen Kulturen beschreiben und vll. nach welchem Vorbild du dir das vorstellst. Melting Pot (USA) oder nach britischem Beispiel einer Multikulturellen Kultur ( ich weiss unglückliche Wortwahl :P )
Und wenn du demnächst längere Texte korrigiert haben möchtest, stell einen längeren Fälligkeitszeitraum ein.
lg moody
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